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When the Stationary Bike saddle hurts!

So recently, I threw out a harmless, marketing email that got the spinning community out of their saddles, off their bike seats and up in arms. Angry responses came flying in across the internet and the Back Bay Boxing inbox almost exploded!

(Actually it was only one person but let's just pretend it was more).

Her position was strong. Her response was well thought out. She was angry and adamant that my email WASN'T funny!

Below is the exchange I had with her and it's definitely blog-worthy. To protect her identity let's call her Karen.

Angry email from Karen:

As someone who both boxes and "rides a stationary bike" regularly, this email is ignorant, offensive, and out of touch. These thoughtless words alienate anyone who incorporates cycling into their fitness routines; probably large majority of your demographic. As a boxing gym that uses CPass to fill spots, doesn't this approach seem like a bad idea?!

Unfortunately, I already no longer attend Back Bay Boxing due to a work location change, so I am deprived of the sweet satisfaction of pulling my business from you. I've witnessed Barry's instructors, Boxing instructors, and football players not be able to hold a double time 128 bpm sprint. But I am not here to lecture you on the strength and endurance it takes to complete a spin class. Everyone is on a different fitness journey and many of us use it as a outlet for our all around well-being.

Congratulations on belittling an entire facet of your own industry.

With a sharp 6, 1, and a strong 2,

"A Stationary Bike Rider"

Response from Coach Johnny:

Thanks for your great email and thank you for your insightful and thoughtful response. All my other responses were soooo lame!

They were just a bunch of 'haha', 'lol', 'this is great!', 'thanks for the laugh, I needed that today but I do love my bike too!'. Or 'OMG it's so true! My grandmother did have a stationary bike! She used to call it Ron. Haha! She'd always say she was going to 'get up on Ron today' or how she 'needed to spend more time on Ron'. I was just a kid but it's funny now!' Or 'Ahahaha this is brilliant, can't wait to come to class soon!' Or 'Hi Coach Johnny, I hope you're doing well. Good to see you haven't lost your humor during the Pandemic! I hope all is well with you and the gym' and then an alarming 'What is a stationary bike?''

So, to get your email was so much more fun to read.

To be honest, I've zero interest in what Barry the instructor does whoever he is or in what football players do. I've never met a football player who could actually move his/her body. Those guys just run in straight lines! Most of them are too muscular to move their bodies so they just pound on heavy bags in a pointless fashion. It does look tough though which is super cool!

Anyway, those 'thoughtless words' we actually very thoughtfully put together and they succeeded in keeping my gym members and loving audience entertained. I would point out however that my gym doesn't have a 'demographic'. My boxing gym and classes are open to everyone, not just some pompous 'demographic' that can afford fancy stationary bikes, spinning classes and elitist bootcamps.

Additionally, I don't use CP to fill spots. I never used CP to 'fill spots'. When I did use CP it was to introduce people to, and to coach people boxing and how to fight. 'Filling spots' is meaningless to me. Boxing classes are pointless unless people learn something. Plus, I haven't used CP since Covid led me to close my gym, so being closed by Covid probably deprived you of the 'sweet satisfaction' of pulling business from me. It is kind of a messed up idea of 'satisfaction' though, especially when small businesses are struggling so much. How about a cookie? Cookies are satisfying! Or a Snickers, they apparently really satisfy! Just make sure you're not allergic to peanuts!

It's great that you're someone who 'who both boxes and "rides a stationary bike" regularly'. I hope you don't do them simultaneously though. That'd be dangerous! Especially in a 128bmp sprint off with Barry.

For someone who didn't want to lecture me 'on the strength and endurance it takes to complete a spin class' you sure did manage to get yourself in a bit of a spin. I'd imagine your heart-rate probably exceeded 128 bmps writing your email. You're welcome for that free workout! You could have just hit 'delete'. Do it with my response! It feels good for a second!

It is true that everyone is on a different fitness journey and good luck with yours. As for 'belittling an entire facet of your own industry'. Fitness isn't MY industry, boxing and coaching boxing is MY industry. Everyone knows I think spinning sucks. I'd rather go for an outdoor bike ride. Or a hike in the woods! Or a hike with a picnic!!! Best of both worlds!

Anyway, have a nice spin class!

Coach Johnny

Initial 'Offensive' Marketing Email (for reference) - Cover your eyes people!

The Stationary Bike Dilemma

A lot of people think riding a stationary bike is cool, especially if it has a big screen TV! Newsflash! It isn't cool! It's something your grandparents would do! NOW FOR THE DATA: In a recent Back Bay Boxing survey, 99.9999999% of stationary bike owners curled up in small balls and began crying during Boxing class, stating that class was too hard, that they needed more breaks. What's that about???

What is 'The Boxing Coach'? The Boxing Coach by Back Bay Boxing offers you Livestream and On-Demand Boxing Workouts for you to 'attempt' whenever you choose. If you finish one, you win absolutely nothing! There are no participatory medals and no feeling of joy or accomplishment. It's a totally hollow experience! Disclaimer: During 'The Boxing Coach' online workouts, you may experience an overwhelming sense of confusion that is captured by a few simple phrases: 1) 'What the F**K is going on?' 2) How many push-ups did he say? Is that even possible in a week? 3) Who is this guy and how is he so awesome? 4)What's with all the swearing? Is he allowed to swear? and finally 5) I think he has ruined stationary bikes for me for life!


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